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Saturday, November 23rd, 2013
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Because people have asked me here's the master post to chapters of Mea Culpa, so far. Enjoy!
Mea Culpa - Master Post - Work in Progress
by Imogen
Disclaimer: I don't know any of these actors, and this is completely made up. Ben, Dr Harris and any other original characters are mine, but the rest belong to themselves. This isn't my sandbox so please don't sue.
Pairing(s): Jensen/Jared; Jared/OMC; Chad/Sophia (sort of)
Summary: Abuse wreaks everyone's lives. Who picks up the pieces?
Warnings: abusive relationship (past), attempted suicide (one chapter only); past rape
Notes: This deals with a (past) abusive relationship. None of it will be graphic or glorified, I’m aiming to give a realistic picture of an abusive relationship and the aftermath. If any of this upsets please don’t read. Specific warnings will be given with chapters. This is my first SPN fic *gulps* so please let me know what you think!
‘Mea Culpa’ means ‘my fault’ in Latin. It’s used in confessional Catholic prayers and Mass when confessing to sins. The full phrase of the prayer is: ‘my fault, my own fault, through my own most grievous fault’
IMPORTANT NOTE: I originally started writing Mea Culpa for another fandom, LotR RPS (Vig/Orli),but I never finished the story due to RL problems, and by the time I found time and motivation again, I'd moved on and discovered SPN, so I decided to re-write it for J2. It won't be a copy, and since the story was never finished it won't end the same, but I don't want people to think I'm being lazy or plagiarising someone else's work. I'm leaving links to the VigOrli version in my memories because I still love them.
There will also be fanart and a soundtrack posted here sometime in the near future, because I'm a fanart fiend *g*
Please, please send feedback, any and all is welcome, including con-crit. It helps me become a better writer and encourages the muses *G*
Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3; Chapter 4; Chapter 5; Chapter 6; Chapter 7 A; Chapter 7 B; Chapter 8; Chapter 9; Chapter 10;
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Comments: Read 11 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, June 11th, 2009
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My sister, Jess and me used to fight constantly when we were growing up, including some all out physical fights with hair pulling etc. There's a four year age gap between us and I'm the elder although we always said we were born the wrong way round. People always said we'd grow to love each other as we got other btu at times especially when we were teenagers neither of us believed it. But they were right me and my sis get on really well now. She's a lot happier now she's flied the family home. She's always been an explorer, I'm a home bird.
Anyway she's just finished university abut a week ago and now has to wait for her results, but we've all found out that Jess has a heart condition. it was only picked up by accident when she went for a check-up about an infection she had. It's not life threatening, but it's still scary as hell for me. She has a hole in her heart, about a centimetre. it won't kill her but she'll need to be careful. My sister is a very active person, she's obessed with dancing and that's her hobbit, she does Latin, jazz and ballroom as wella s goes to the gym, so she's pretty fit. She was born with a hole but no one has picked it up. Mum at first was really scared, as two years before I was born, she'd had a son, Ben, who was born with a heart defect and he'd died three days later, but we know it's not hereditary or realted so at least that's a relief.
The weird thing is after I graduated I was so stressed out between that and family problems that I got a string of virus which lead to me getting CFS/ME a few months later, and I've still got it and Jess joked she's have to trump that after she graduated, which I guess she has. The idea of Jess or mum dying terryifies me, even more so than my brothers or anyone else. I know she'll be fine but I sometimes cna't help worrying. We've had a lot of death in my father: my dad, my grandparents, aunts and uncles. I know Jess will be fine, and she's not someone would lets a little hole in her heart stop her from living, and I admire her for that but it reminds me I guess of hwo easy it is to take basic things, like your heath for granted. I know I did until I got ME.
This isn't meant to be morbid, just really thinking aloud and I figured I should update my journal sometime this century.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, January 5th, 2009
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I'm bored and suffering from a horrid cold. This is the result of my cold-filled brain. I got it from someone's journal, but I can't remember who, so sorry in advance!
1. I have a dog (actually a puppy) called Milo. He's five months ago, and is the 'baby' of the family. He's a cocker spaniel and caramel coloured with a white chest
2. My real name is Jennie. Contrary to popular belief it's *not* short for Jennifer. , I'm just Jennie.
3. I call myself Imogen Lily here because, my mum wanted to call me Imogen, but the rest of the family wouldn't let her. I love the name so I use it here. Lily is my middle name and also my paternal grandmother's name (she was Lillian, I'm just Lily) but I never met her
4. I have three siblings, who's names all begin with J. This was not intensional! I also have two step-siblings. Out of all six of us, I am the second youngest
5. I am facinated with history. I find the present and future boring in comparison. This is probably why I adore fantasy but find sci-fi boring
6. I have absolutely no interest in celeb's lives. I hate, hate magazines like US Weekly, People and Now (British mag) to making us all feel we should be facinated by other people's lives, romances, shoes and mishaps. I've got my own life to shruggle and deal with.
7. I developed a love of comic books and computer games from my brothers and I still love them now. My favorite character is Gambit from the X-Men.
8. Before my sister was born, I played with Transformers hidden under my brother's bed instead of Barbie dolls
9. I have never dated anyone or been in a relationship, I want to have a relationship but I don't want to be with anyone I'm not certain with, and I haven't been certain of anyone yet.
10. I *hate* all alchol, so I don't drink. Period. It's nothing to do with religon or morals, I just hate the taste *shrugs* I'm a fussy eater generally
11. Due to my dyspraxia there are certain foods/clothes that I can't stand the taste/texture of. I am not trying to be deliberately awkward!
12. I have no memories of my dad who died when I was seven. He wasn't around me and my sister much before he died, so there isn't much to remember
13. Until I was 7 I wanted to be a witch. Then until I was 15 I wanted to be a history and drama teacher. Now I have no idea what I want to be, but I know I want to help people. My current idea and the one the appeals to be most is becoming a dramatherapist, but this takes about five years of training and doing an MA which is expensive...
14. I'd love to be able to write, be a published author (like most of the world) and I'm planning on doing a creative writting MA, but I tend to have too many ideas and not enough staying power right now. Hopefully that will change....
15. My school days were the worst of my life. I spent them in a bubble of almost perpetual fear over forgotting homework, being disorganized, dracoian unforgiving teachers and not having any friends. Things got better when I finally went to university. Despite my hatred of school, I still have a passion for learning that I'm glad I've still got
16. Most of my closest friends/social network revolves round friends I've met via the internet. I hate that these friendships are seen as less...valid somehow. I consider my 'internet' friends my best friends, and they have helped me through some really difficult times, as I have with them. I resent that we are portrayed as sad, disturbed loners. For people who are sick, like I was when I first got ME, the internet is often the best communication tool you have and it has saved my sanity on occasion.
17. I live my life by music. My iPod is one of my most valued and used tools. I always use it when walking anywhere, in the car, exercising. Songs are the quickest way to cheer me up - apart from chocolate (which doesn't last that long) I love all kinds of music: pop, rock, clasical, country, classic rock, blues, jazz - I love it all.
18. I'm not sure I want children. A part of me does, but another part of me thinks I'm too selfish and disorganised. I also worry that I - or the world would mess up my children, there's so many terrible things in the world, not just wars etc, but just day to day stuff like bullying and peer pressure that really weigh children down. That scares me.
19. I hate travelling, I'm very much a home bird and I get homesick if I'm away too long (read: over a week) I love learning new things and cultures, but at the same time I love and crave the familar and safe
20. I believe in God, but not in the church. I don't go to church, but I still pray. I despise how people warp it and take the Bible/Qu'Ran/Torrah out of context to fuel their own hatred and bigotry. Christians that go on about Wars on Terror, or saving America from homosexuals etc, should re-read the New Testiment. Jesus did not descriminate - in fact he went out of his way to befriend tax collectors, prosistutes - not the good and virtuous. He told people to love and forgive and most importantly not judge. Those that can't aren't real Christians in my books.
bonus: 21: My lucky number is 8. Dunno why!
I'm tagging Steph aka littlegreenleaf, Christina aka house_of_lantis, Anna aka cameilla_bloom and Persephone aka inkbymidnight - if any of you happen to see this entry that is!
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Comments: Read 8 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, January 1st, 2009
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It's now almost midday in England, around the time most of us emerge with hangovers *G*
I've started the new year with a cold, which has been threatening for the past week, so definately a good sign to the new year.
Everyone nervous about 2009 what with global warming, resessions, unemployment etc etc, but on the plus side America has Obama takingover. I was so, so releaved when he won, I was positive McCain would win. I have nothing against McCain personally, he appears a genuinely decent guy, but Palin.....she represents everything I loathe.
As usual I've barely begun to cover my aims I wrote last year (I don't do resolutions) and most still need doing.
The most essential thing for me right now is getting a new job, but with things the way they are right now that won't be easy. 12 hours a week just isn't enough. I don't think I'll ever be able to work full time withmy ME so I'm aiming for 25-ish hours a week and a job where a) I can have enough pay each month that I don't go overdrawn b) a job that stimulates me.
There's a part of me that loves working at the library, I hate the college I work for but my colleages in the library are all fantastic, and I knwo from personal experiance how important it is to have a supportive team around you at work, because otherwise it drives you into the ground.
The major thing to happen to me was I got a puppy. Trust me it's not as fun as it sounds! He's a cocker spaniel and I called him Milo and he's now five months old. I adore him, but it's been difficult having him, with all his training (especially toilet training which was a *nightmare*) and he's still got a long way to go, but he's a lovely dog.
Also I badly need to improve my social life, especially since I actually don't *have* one. I seem to have lost touch with a lot of people of the last year including a lot of friends, I know that happens and I know people move on. I'm not a natural socialiser so it won't be easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is, is it?
Weight is still an on-going issue. My overall aim is to loose between 2 1/2 - 3 stone, then I'll be the right weight for my heigh, and it'll make my ME easier to manage. It's the whole 'one step forward three steps back' rountine. I just need something to motivate me.
My writting seems to *very* slowly be coming back, after not being able to write for the past couple of years, I can't say how happy this has made me.
I know for my next career step, I want to help people. Ultimately I think I want to be a dramatherapist but I'd also like to work in dyslexia and dyspraxia or even ME and educate people more about them, especially dyspraxia, because a lot of people - including my own family who are very supportive still don't always fully realise how it affects people in every day life.
I think I've rambled myself out now. I hope everyone has a good 2009. Yes the news will tell us things are worse than every before, and soem things are worse, but others are better, you just sometimes have to search for them. Remember, only the dramatic makes the news.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, September 17th, 2008
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I doubt anyone will read this entry so I feel safe to be entirely open.
First off, I'm not American, for which I am profoundly greatful. Sorry if that offends people, actually I don't give a toss if it does. People are far too scared of offending others and America has an appauling track record of being offensive and not appoligising.
I'm British, techincally England ans due to the Bush-Blair 'relationship' we've had the humilation of suffering, I've been paying attension to the presidental race more than I usually would, and now I'm damn scared that McCain and Palin will win, in fact I'm almost 99% sure they will.
Everyone keeps reminding us America is the most powerful country and as such the president affects everyone. This annoys me because America has got to be the most self-absorbed, self important nation on Earth. Other countries and continants exist too, but unless there's a conflict to get involved in, oil to be gained they generally don't want to know, because, y'know, God loves America, it's the only country he blesses. Apprantly. Yep that was a ref to Michael Moore there. He's one American I do like.
I have nothing against American people. One of my best and dearest friends is American, tons of actors, singers, scientists and thinkers I admire are American, there are a few past presidents I deeply admire too. What pisses me off it the whole attitude of America.
Take the whole Russell Brand 'scandel' for insulting Bush and people's reactions, mostly along teh lines of 'Die Brand Die' Bush is offically the most unpopular president in modern history, even he knows he's a joke, so where do Americans get off being so bloody prissy, what's thee big deal. Comedians are supposed to deliver barbs, they make us think but then that's never gone down well in some parts of America *coughRedneckcough*
I don't liek Sarah Palin, she scared me most, more than McCain. I respect that she's 100% sincere in her beliefs and she has charm to spare but being that rigid in her views does a country no favours. America is as sprawling and diverse as you can get. Each state is almost a country unto itsself so how does tunnel vision work? Unfortuntely she is exactly what America loves, her flaws work like Homer Simpson, whether it's an unmarried pregnant teen, a down Syndrome child, a son at war - she represents a 'real American. How terryfying.
I disagree with her on just about everything: abortion, death penality, war, polar bears, guns, creationism, ...I could go on forever but you get the picture.
Abortion would never be an issue in England like it is in America. Sure we have religous people, but nothing like the Evangelists that have a stranglehold on America. Religon cannot rule a democracy, because religon isn't fair. It tells you some people are more equal than others (like we didn't already know that), that many of the ways we live are wrong - then ironically that same religon (I'm talking Christianity here) endorces love, anti-war and forgiveness, not Repulican strongsuits.
If Jesus was alive now, he would be horrified his 'followers' condone death, guns, war and hatred. Jesus went out of his way to befriend the sinners, fallen and the outcasts. In today's society, that would mean death row inmates, gays, transsexuals, prostitues, and women who've had abortions.
Sure we've always been guilty of them, the Old Testimates condones most of it, but Chrstians should follow the new testiment, clearly Evangelicals didn't get the memo.
I don't think anyone has the right to tell someone else how to live. You believe abortion is wrong. Fine, but don't you dare try to contorl other women's decisions. Every situation is difficult. There have been cases of 12 year olds raped and getting pregnant, how the hell do you tell a child they have to go through a pregnancy because it's God's will. I'd love for Palin and McCain to have to tell every rape victim who's pregnant they have to endure a constant reminder of their attack for the next 9 months, to a mother who leave her other children motherless because the baby will kill her, to a family who already have a large family and can't cope with the severely disabled child she's carrying, or the woman that simply isn't ready for a baby because just maybe she should control what happens to her body.
Also from a horrendously scientic point of view, the world is over populated, look at Africa or China. If every woman had every baby, then the world would be in even more of a mess. We don't have unlimitied resources. Oil will eventually be gone, and our climate is changing, and future leaders need to accept that, because it's their future generations who will have to deal with all of this crap, and if Palin is truly pro-life, she'll want to see humanity survive.
Of course abortion is one of the big Things about this election, but want to know where McCain, and especially Palin stand on other issues that haven't been mentioned: domestic violence springs to mind. Homeless shelters, protecting children from pornography - which starts with stopping sexualising little girls.
And why is America so hung up on sex and virginity? I'm curious. Sex is a biological function. It's messy and can be amazing, painful, humilating, create life and be a powerful tool to communicate love or power. Why does it matter if someone is a virgin or not, America prizes virginity amongst it's young, but won't teach proper sex education. Why? Why is it so sinful to protect children, to teach them about STDs, rape (including date-rape), abortion, sexual abuse, porn etc. I'm not saying show them porn, for example, I don't agree with it, but it still exists and can do damage. Teens are confronted by sexually explicit or at least sexually suggestive images every day. Just telling them to abstain, wait till marriage or telling them to tell an adult if someone touches them in a 'naughty place' is not sufficant. A protected child is a knowledable child. All these things They happen so don't ignore them - everything they need to know to survive in the real world. If Americans value children, they'll stop they're own children getting an STD that renders them infertile. And stop putting all the pressure on women to be solely responsible for sex. Getting married after finding yourself pregnant is not acting responsibilty, they'll most likely end up divorced because you rarely stay with the ssame person from age 17 to 70. Just a fact. I'm all for responsibility, just dish it out more envenly.
And don't get me started on the environment! What's she got against polar bears, it's like saying 'never mind, I'm sure they'll be fine in the sundan dessert' such an ignorant and dismissive response is worthy of Bush, and what about God - this is his world, how would he feel about seeing such casual disreguard for the world he took the time to create?
Why is the largest and richest nation so blinded in it's own opinions? I don't get it.
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Comments: Read 8 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, August 9th, 2008
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Well I finally got to see Dark Knight yesterday. I wanted to try and avoid the intial rush but the cinema was still absolutely packed and I can see why.
I love the Dark Knight, absolutely loved it, but I found it was a hard movie to enjoy. From the moment it begins it's a constant assult on the senses. Like the Joker, it takes the 'rules' of the Summer Blockbuster and turns them on their head. Right away you know it's much darker than the first movie, and darker than summer movies, this is something completely differant. No summer blockbuster shows lives being thrown away with such casual disreguard, and considering all the gun and knife crime that's been happening in England right now, it's a fitting if terrifiying reflection.
Everyone was amazing in it, but then you expect nothing else from the actors in this movie, but Christian Bale and Heath...they are incredable. I was really sad when I heard about Heath's death, but if an actor is going to be remembered by their last perfromance, what a way to go. Everyone always said Jack Nicholson's Joker was the best yadda yadda, but this Joker...to my mind Heath is the real Joker, the one I know from the Frank Miller novels, that made me fall in love with graphic novels. Nicholson's performance can't compare especially when he looks like a cartoon, Heath's joker is both realistic and completly out of this world. I don't think any other actor could have pulled it off. I wish so much Heath Ledger had lived to see the acclaim for this role. He shouldn't have died. My sister said something interesting, that it was as if the role had taken too much out of him, which when you watch him, you can understand.
I don't believe Heath killed himself, I believe he got his sleeping pills mixed up, and speaking as someone who's had problems sleeping for years, believe me, I know it's very easy to do. I remember there were a lto fo raised eyebrows about heath getting the role, but I completly understand why Christopher Nolen chose Heath, he called Heath fearless, and you can see it in this role. The voice, the movements...once he's one screen you have difficult taking your eyes off him.
Like the best villians, I didn't hate the Joker, not matter how evil or demented he was, he was just to utterly mesmerising. Batman is scary, almost as unpredicatable as the Joker,. My mum said the film was approaching an epic and she was right, this isn't just a summer action movie, because the themes are so universal and more poitenet for right now. It's scary to think that sometimes the hero we need is almost a villian. Ironically the only people I came close to disliking as the 'villians' were the police in some scenes.
I do question if the film should've been a 12, I know why it was rated that but the violence was nasty, it's not graphic liek some movies but the film is harsh and doesn't pull any punches - no pun intended. I can't stand violence myself so I didn't watch the nasty bits. Yeah I'm sad like that.
It also touches on some widsom that is very pertinant to our time. One particular phrase stands out to me: Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
How sadly and scarily true that is and now refresh to see a movie that entertains, scares and provokes thought. God knows we need more movies like this.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Saturday, June 14th, 2008
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I cannot believe the 42 day detension bill got passed. I really shouldn't be surprised by anything this government does any more. Labour is dying and doing anything it can to clutch onto power, including playing on people's fears, and the Conservatives are now just a clone.
Whatever happened to human rights, diginity and a fair trial? I guess those things have to be scarificed in order to make our celebrity-hungry, mass-fear community safe. Britons are supposed to be rational and level headed.
I just don't understand how *anyone* can claim this is a good idea. if it takes this long to get evidence on someone, the police and government aren't doing their jobs. You count in the intension pyschological truauma suspects go under, most will end up confessing anything. the really hardened terrorists won't be stopped by an interogation, because they are a fanatic and believe they're right. Maybe if this government or the torries actually got their heads out of the arses, and started to improve the country and stop bombing other countries than it might just reduce some of the people wanting to kill us.
I'm just so ashamed to be British.
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Wednesday, April 30th, 2008
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I figured I'd try to update my reguarly so, song meme.
List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now, shaping your spring. Post these instructions in your LJ along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they're listening to.
Tag-wise I'm going to bend the rules, anyone who wants to, consider yourself tagged *g* although I would like to see yours Steph *g*
OK onto songs...
Sunscreen - Baz Lurhmann
Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood
Rule the World - Take That
Protect Me From What I Want - Placebo
So Close- Jon McLaughlin
Some Things Get Lost - Alice Peacock
Roxie - Renee Zellweger
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I have clearly waaaay too many fandoms. It was really difficult to decide which was the steady between VigOrli and J2, but VigOrli was my first and will always be my true love *g*
Now if only my own love life was actually this interesting...or even existant *sniffles*
Steph if you see this I'm tagging you, I'm curious about your answers *g*
fandom relationship meme:
The steady: VigOrli
The ones you repeatedly cheat on your steady with: Wincest and J2
The one who seduced you and fucked you over and broke your heart in a million pieces and laughed about it: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel (Buffy/Angel)
The old flame you don't see very often any more but whom you still really enjoy getting together with for a few drinks and maybe a pleasant nostalgic romp in the sheets: PotC (Turrow) and LotR (Ara/Leg)
The alluring stranger whom you've flirted with at parties but have never gotten really serious with: Smallvile (Clex)
The one you hang out with and have vague fantasies about maybe having a thing with but ultimately you're just good buddies 'cause the friendship is there but the chemistry ain't: Harry Potter (Harry/Draco)
The one you spent a whole weekend in bed with and who drank up all your liquor, and whom you'd still really like to fuck again although you're relieved he doesn't actually live in town: Firefly (Mal/Simon)
The mysterious dark gothy one whom you used to sit up with talking until 3 a.m. at weird coffeehouses and with whom you were quite smitten until you realized he really was fucking crazy: Torchwood
The one your friends keep introducing you to and who seems like a hell of a cool guy except it's never really gone anywhere: House MD
The one who's slept with all your friends, and you keep looking at him and thinking, "Him? How the hell did he land all these cool babes?": Stargate: Atlantis
The one your friend has fallen for like a ton of bricks and whom she keeps babbling to you about on the phone for hours, and you'd be happy for her except you just know it's going to end badly: Heroes
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I know I haven't posted here in a long time, partly because of all the fun that LJ Big Brother has caused, but I had to drop a note about this.
I'm not an American, so technically I'm not affected by it, but as Brit, I've been drawn into the whole battle of the US presidency. The choices...a black man vs a woman for the next president. This'll be interesting...yes I am a cynic.
I've heard about Cheney's charming and caring response to the America pulib opinion over the war. I really shouldn't be shocked but I am, a little anyway. At least he's being honest as to how little he cares about the people he's supposedly respresenting. I find it hard to believe anyone can be that blind in the face of disaster yep the Iraq war is a disaster, just like we predicted. The brits were never in favour of the war, except our dicartor...um PM Blair but we don't need to go there. I have very good friends who are Americans and I don't want to insult them.
It must be embarressing for those that supported the war. unless your get soemone like Cheney who's so rich and old he just doesn't care, and no one is going to make him. Bush will never be impeeched - neither will Cheney, Rumsfeld, Ashcroft, Blair they have immunity i.e. obsene wealth and power. Those people never have to face the consquences of their actions and it sickens me. Although interestingly all proclaim they are feverant Christians. God help them when they die then, because I'm pretty sure Jesus was explicit in his views of violence, but they I'm sure they'll wrangle a deal, they've already sold their souls.
Maybe their next president will be better, but for a country that let Bush be elected twice, I have little hope and us Brits will be dragged along for the ride, but it's OK because God blesses America. I just wish God would bless some other countries for a while. He seems a pretty descriminating God.
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Saturday, December 29th, 2007
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I hope everyone on my f-list has had a relaxing Christmas and got what they wanted. I want to also wish everyone a happy and properous New Year.
There seem to be a bundle of films I suddenly want to see. I just saw Enchanted yesterday, it's so damn funny! It's get to see a film where Disney isn't taking itself seriously. People really should see it.
Other movies I really want to see are:
The Other Bolyen Girl (although it annoys me none of the Principals are British *g*)
Sweeny Todd
Juno
St Trinians
Eastern Promises (I know it's been out but I'm not good with violence)
I'm debating whether to see PS, I Love You. I might wait to rent that. I keep imagining a VigOrli version of it for some reason *g*
Also this is a bit presumtuous, but I was wondering if anyone would be able to help co-author some VigOrli stories I'm struggling to write. I've got the ideas and plans but I'm having trouble writting them and I do think they'd make good stories. I'd really appreicate if someone would be willing to help. i hate leaving stories but my muses are have a lot of difficulty for a while now.
One's a version of Atonement and one's a version of The Illusionist, but they both have twists etc in them differant from the movies. If anyone wants to help I'm happy for their input in any ideas/suggestions/changes they'd want to make.
If anyone's curious please feel free to mail be with any questions/comments etc at my email: bageria8@hotmail.com or bageria8@googlemail.com
thanks!
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Monday, December 3rd, 2007
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This is a mini interview/questionaire taken from the Guardian magazine each week. It features actors, politicans, models, writters etc. I thought it'd be interesting to post my answers.
I'd be really curious to see other people's answers to this as well, so please take a minute to fill it in
In other news: I'M GOING BACK TO WORK NEXT MONDAY!!!!! *collaspes with shock* after ten months off they've decicded I'm OK to go back. I'm still really tired and achy right now but I'll be glad to get back.
OK onto questions....
When were you happiest? University. Mainly my second year. I love having my ideas and beliefs stretched and challenged. What is your earliest memory? Letting the brake off my dad’s car when I was trying to get out, and both me and my sister were still in the car. Fortunately neither of us were injured, and neither was our car. Unfortuntely the car I ran it into had to be written off. Which living person do you most admire? My mum because of everything she’s been through, I deeply admire Alison Lapper as well. I admire all my friends too. What was your most embarrassing moment? Where to begin? My worst, I can't repeat here, but second is probably when I was doing a drama exam and I completely forgot my piece and just stood there in front of the judges desperately trying to remember it. What is your most treasured possession? Photos of my grandparents, and my rag-doll, Becky. What would your super power be? Healing and telekinitics – I’m greedy *g* What makes you depressed? State/future of the world What do you most dislike about your appearance? My arms Do you like your name? Not really. People assume I’m Jenny or Jennifer, but I’m just Jennie, but it’s a pretty common name. I don’t mind my middle name, Lily, though and I think Wallace is alright, but nothing special What is your most unappealing habit? interupting people and biting my nails What is your favorite book? Toss up between Wild Swans by Jung Chang and Six Wives of Henry VIII by Alison Weir Who would you invite to your dream dinner party? my family, Mags, Steph, Treacle, Jesus, JK Rowling, Oscar Wilde, Alison Lapper, Viggo Mortensen, Tom Lehrer, Leonardo DaVinci, Henry VIII and Jane Austen What is the worst thing anyone's said to you? A lot of things that I wish I could forget. One person told that I used my dyslexic as a crutch and I’d never get anywhere in life What is the worst job you've done? Working at a small book shop when I was at school and college. The owner regularly told me how everyone was going to hell, and constantly quizzed me on my own beliefs, but even worse one of the guys was very feely-touchy and tried to feel me up several times. I ended up having a friend come in to pretend to be my boyfriend What is your guiltiest pleasure? Desperate Housewives with chocolate of some form What do you owe your parents? My mum, I owe everything. My dad…I owe my genes, and I’m not sure how I feel about that. To whom would you most like to say sorry and why? My grandparents, because I never told them how much I loved them. What or who is the greatest love of your life? My friends and family What was the best kiss of your life? Not sure yet Which living person do you most despise, and why? Probably Bush. His stupidity, arrogance and excessive religious beliefs. I despite religous extremists/zealots and anyone who advocates war or hatred in the name of God What has been your biggest disappointment? Not having my grandparents around when I grew up What was your dream job as a child. Is it still the same? A history and drama teacher or a witch. No, I now want to be a councilor If you could edit your past, what would you change? There's so much I'd love to change...but I'm scared of whether it would change who I am, so just a couple of particuarlly hurtful memories If you could go back in time, where would you go? I’d love to see Henry VIII’s court, or see Leonardo DaVinci working When did you last cry, and why? Last week, I was in pain What is the closest you've come to death? Getting pneumonia when I was three What single thing would improve the quality of your life? Stop worrying so much about things I have no control over What keeps you awake at night? Airplanes. Insomnia. State of the world. Religious fundamentalists. What song would you like played at your funeral? Always look on the Bright Side of Life – Monty Python Where would you most like to be right now? Where I am right now, at home What is your greatest fear? Loosing my family/friends. Loosing the ability to communicate with them What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? Chronic disorganization What trait do you deplore most in others? Intolerance Do you believe in capital punishment? No, no exceptions What do you consider to be the most over-rated virtue? Any virtue can become over-rated in the wrong hands What would your Daemon (animal manifestation of your soul) be? Snow leopard Who would play you in the film of your life? Can’t think why anyone would want to make a film out of my life, but I’d like to have Rachel Weisz or Anne Hathaway What does love feel like? Everything rolled into one Which words or phrases do you most overuse? ‘hmmm’ ‘are you OK?’, ‘you know what I mean’ ‘what?’ What do you consider your greatest achievement? So far, graduating, in future, who knows? What is the most important lesson life has taught you? Don’t take anyone or anything for granted. Tell us a joke. George Bush Tell us a secret. I can recite entire scenes of Gone With the Wind off by heart (I blame my sister) very embaressing
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Wednesday, November 21st, 2007
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I am now the proud owner of he lovely 2 disk set At World's End *preens* although I'm not sure why it was released in England before America. Hmmm. Maybe Keira and Orlando wanted to watch it before Johnny? *g*
My lovely pirate movie. *preens again* I can't believe I only saw it once at the cinema *shakes head*
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Saturday, November 17th, 2007
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I know I haven't properly updated this thing n months, which is partly - or entirely my fault. Because of my CFS I'm sometimes too tired to type, but mostly it's laziness.
I've been having a semi feud/fall out with my brother since his wedding a few months ago, mainly over our mum and his treatment of her since the wedding. He's admitted his mother in law is a cow, but is still trying to paint mum as a neurotic bad guy which I resent. Mum's done more for him than any other person, I don't get him. He's my brother and I love him, but right now I do not like him. I feel like I'm a huge disapointment to him. He and Rachel (his new wife) have lots of things they need to sort out themselves, Rachel is outwardly confident but has no experiance of life outside of her horses and is rather prone to criticise probably without realising she can hurt people. She has a very thick skin, but not everyone does and she has no concept of tact.
I think they think my CFS is imagined or exaggerated and I resent it. I know there is truth in the phrase 'no one can make you feel inferior without your consent' but it's hard to feel good about yourself at times when you're 24, have CFS and live at home. I know coming home is just temporary but it's a knock back from when I was living with my friend. At least I'll be getting back to work in a few weeks whcih is a relief. I've got to meet my boss next week *gulp* but I need to be back at work. Hopefully when I'm back my creative juices will start and I can actually write something again.
I haven't forgotten about Mea Culpa or any of my other stories for those interested, I've just lack the ability to write, I haven't been able to do my asecond assignment for a writting course I'm doing whcih isn't a good sign.
This isn't meant to be a pity-party post I just felt I should update and right now I'm not in a very positive frame of mind, but I will be again.
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Wednesday, November 7th, 2007
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I've recently been having a lot of problems with hotmail, and for some reason I am currently unable to access my inbox on any computer right now. If anyone has any suggestions on how I could fix this, it'd be really welcome I've decided to switch to my googlemail account which I don't normally use but I need a working email. If anyone's mailed me over the past week or so the chances are I haven't seen your mail, so please could you re-send any to my new googlemail account My new email is: bageria8@googlemail.com
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Sunday, September 16th, 2007
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My brother finally got married yesterday so I figured I'd post some photos of the momentous event. The day was certainly a memorable one. My other brother is getting married next summer, so we can look forward to it all again next year!
I'm lj-cutting the post because there will be a lot of photos, and they will be large, so dial-up users please be warned.
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I'd say this was pretty accurate, not totally but pretty good. *squees*
Steph - would you find out what your Daemon is? Pretty please? *puppy eyes* I'm curious!! Also I'd love to see Mags's and Treacle's Daemon's if they see this entry.
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Wednesday, June 27th, 2007
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I felt being British, I should comment on this momenteous occasion. We (finally) have a new Prime Minsiter and no suprises it's Gordon Brown. I've lost a lot of faith in the goverment, so I'm not sure how I feel about Brown. I do feel angry that Blair gets to jet around the world acting as public speaker after he forced the country into a war it didn't want and ignored the state of the country.
I'm also appauled at the 'war' between Blair and Brown, these are two inteligent, articulate men who squabble like children because they each want to rule the country. I can't imagine anything worse than ruling a country. The responsibilty and choices you have to make... *shudder* no thank you, I can do without power in my life.
That said I doubt my own life will change that much under Brown, I hope not anyway! I've got enough problems to deal with. I've got a list of non-cheap items I need to buy: TV, laptop, desk etc etc, all of which the old ones broke within days/weeks of each other. What fun *rolls eyes*
I have my hospital appointment finally on July 2nd to see if it's ME I've defiantely got, I hope it is because frankly being able to label what I have is a relief!
For those interested I've almost completed a fic index for my stories (limited selection though they are) which I'll post later on tonight.
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Wednesday, June 20th, 2007
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I've got to say this is mostly accurate. I really don't think I'm a worker bee particularly but I do love persuing knowledge the rest is pretty accurate especially about me being a creature of habit and a home bird *g*
Steph, Mags and Treacle, I'm tagging you guys to do it as well, since I'd love to see the results for you all.
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Well I'm now 24 yrs old. Only a year to go now until I'm a quarter of a century. Bleurgh. It doesn't help that I always get 'birthday blues' on my birthday, I think too much, but today's been pretty good.
My family came over yesterday for a meal and we went to see the Fantastic Four, and today my sister stayed an extra day and we and her boyfriend went for a walk and then bowling which was nice, since it's been years since I went, but it's nice, actually it was nicer than yesterday which was supposed to be my birthday celebration.
So does 24 mean I have to grow up now?
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imogen_lily's journal
enraged.
bitchy.
tired.